I really hate hiding in my room to smoke a joint or bowl just because my kids are home. I feel like I’m denying them attention when the truth is, I wouldn’t be spending extra time with them even if I was always sober. Kids are kids; they only want to be near me when I’m on the phone, busy or have company. When I sneak off to my room for some “quiet time” they don’t try to find me, they don’t walk aimlessly around the house calling out my name or freaking out. They watch T.V, play on one screen or another, or find something to do in their rooms. They only come to me for snacks and juice.
I’m a supporter of legalizing recreational marijuana. I can’t say 100% that I’m a supporter because I have this thick and sturdy hippie bone in me that screams out in agony at the thought of everyone walking around with a pack of joints. It even sounds weird. It takes away from the experience of a smoke session when anyone could just pull out a pack at any time and spark up. But then again, I’m sure alcohol was like that during the end of prohibition. People went to speakeasies and got drunk together illegally. And it must have felt like an important element to the process of getting drunk in public would be gone to someone but did it stop them from drinking? Not likely. Other than that bit of sentimentality missing from the ritual of gathering your group together and sitting down for a session missing, I don’t really see why it can’t be legalized like alcohol or cigarettes.
I hear there’s a group of moms out there somewhere in America that promotes the idea (and benefits) of a mom that smokes. I haven’t looked into it and have no plans to do so. I’m not really into the activist smoker thing. I think that makes it all just a big mess of mixed messages. Like people saying you can’t be addicted to pot. I’ve smoked for…it’ll be twenty years next year; I’m only 32. I’ve quit a few times but I always come back to it. It is addictive; just because it’s not as physical as heroin or alcohol or as mental as cigarettes, it doesn’t mean the addiction doesn’t exist. Personally, I love smoking. I like the way it makes me feel, I like the way it calms me down when kids get me so angry I stutter and I like smoking a joint with my husband after he gets home from work because we actually talk to one another. When we fight, we smoke and end up really talking. When I get tired but can’t sleep, I smoke; when I’m suffering a migraine, I smoke. Stomach aches, cramps, muscle cramps in my left side and PMS are all reasons for me to spark up. I would like to add anxiety to this list of pros but I can’t. I get paranoid that everyone will know I’m high if I leave the house, especially with the kids, and it makes me experience anxiety.
I hate lying to my kids. I say I’m going to my room to make a phone call or do some stretches when I’m usually going to smoke and either stretch or do something else like pluck my eyebrows. I don’t want to sit on my couch between my kids and smoke a big fat blunt but I wish I didn’t have to be in a separate part of the house. I can’t even go outside because it’s illegal…and I live in housing so that would be bad. I can’t smoke in the kitchen unless I’m cooking because it would be obvious. I don’t want to tell my kids that I smoke pot because I don’t want to put them in any sort of position to have to choose between lying and “telling on” mommy. I feel like the laws are all so pointless.
People have asked the obvious:
Why don’t you just quit?
The answer is simple: I don’t want to. I have many excuses and a few reasons why I don’t want to. I also have a few questions of my own like why should I have to? Why is it even illegal in the first place? What makes my smoking a joint so much worse than a cigarette? Why is it so much worse than getting completely plastered? I could lay down dozens of reasons why it shouldn’t be illegal but for some reason it doesn’t matter. I think people are tired of hearing exaggerated truths from stoners. That’s probably why there’s a group of moms out there trying their best to prove smoking pot isn’t just for teens and stoners.
We have a local NORML chapter and they are pretty dumb. I mean…really dumb. It’s like they think sticking pot leaf decals on everything or turning everything either neon green or Rasta pattern will immediately warm everyone up to the idea of legalization. It’s just silly. There are SO many other aspects they could use to stimulate support for their agenda. All you have to do is get your foot in the door and start the conversation. I’ve even thought of joining the local chapter but decided against it. I’m much too aggressive and opinionated for such a movement. I’d probably get banned the moment I said I think it’s addictive anyway (ha!).
Do these people not realize how insanely idiotic they sound when they scream about big pharma? I’m not saying there aren’t any pharmaceutical lobbyists out there trying to keep their brand/s the only option for a healthy sickness but I seriously doubt, and I hope I’m not wrong, but I doubt there are CEO’s and such out there so greedy that they will refuse to progress research on treatment and cures for cancers. If these companies are that rich and that powerful, wouldn’t they just patent all forms of CBD’s so these small mom and pop specialty strain stores wouldn’t have any hold on the medical marijuana industry?
Instead of forcing underdeveloped facts down non-believers throats, why not bring up economic impact of industrialization? There are many states that would benefit from the agricultural aspect alone and that’s both hemp and nice little juicy buds growing on fluffy plants no longer limited to how much can be hidden beneath the canopy of tall trees in mountains or amidst stalks of corn in flat fields. Instead of parading the streets in dirty jeans, dreadlocks and carrying signs that don’t state any clear facts, hold town meetings and healthy debates that include facts that don’t involve comparing it to alcohol. That is a tried and tired comparison. Plus, it’s like mudslinging politics. People don’t want to hear how much better one is by only learning how awful the other is. Discuss only the good of one; bring awareness and offer research, evidence and facts that can’t be easily dismissed. It’s not just the conversation that matters but the context of said conversation. Is there real substance or is it just a bunch of buzzwords and hollow, repeated statements?
One day America will be the one starting the changes in policy to help modernize world society. I don’t know what it will take but I am pretty tired of reading about other countries with faster internet, lower crime, lower prison populations and better educational systems (on all levels of education). I’m also pretty tired of the “maybe America will learn something” approach when we see another country doing something to create real change. One day, one day.