The Space To Write

  I’m having a difficult time with today’s writing 101 assignment.   I’m supposed to write about my writing space.  I’m looking around at my writing space and I feel honest disappointment.  It’s not a very special place.  The desk creaks every time I move and I feel like one day I’m going to lean on it for just a second too long and the damn thing will just slant left until its collapsed flat on the ground.  I see this stack of papers building over here that’s giving me the dirty look, wondering why it’s still sitting there.  Kasper has a little pile of torn pieces of paper he digs out of his pocket after work to calculate hours, look up movies to download or remind him he had to find information on something. This desk is where ideas go to retire after working their brief life or they just come here to die from waiting for their turn to meet the all-controlling cursor. I’m going to admit that I actually read a few posts to get an idea of which angle I might want to tackle this topic from but I didn’t like any of them.  I must be having an off day today.  It would make sense; I worked on my book yesterday so I may be a bit worn out.

  I don’t think any writing space could be magic.  I think it is the writer’s mood that brings the magic. Capability probably has less to do with it than mood or setting.  If you don’t have the proper setting, one that makes the writer feel most at ease, then the mood might never be right.  Maybe the two go hand-in-hand.  I prefer to write in silence.  I can’t write when the kids are home for reasons I’m sure I don’t need to explain and I can’t write when Kasper is home because writing is an incredibly personal experience for me.  Blogging is like a journal and my stories are like fantasies that are not realistic for me.  I can’t do either when the idea of him catching a glimpse of the screen makes me feel like he’s seen a version of me I’m afraid to look in the eye in the mirror.  I don’t know why I feel this way; I enjoy writing, especially my stories.  I like watching them come together. I love finding little things that make the story seem like I made an intricate plot when it’s usually coincidence these details work so well with the main story. So I don’t know why I’m embarrassed by the joy of my hobby.

   My ideal space is not in my room alone or in a coffee place or library.  My ideal space is any place there is no one around, no one I had to cut myself off from to concentrate. The best time for me to write anything is during the weekday when the kids are in school and Kasper is at work.  Kasper also gives me two to three, sometimes more days a week with a couple of hours to myself because he takes the kids with him to the gym before dinner.

    I don’t usually need tools because there is always drafts and I prefer drafts because I have this crazy need to write everything out.  I would blog on my phone but there is no decent app for WordPress on my phone.  I could post but the site is real strange.  It’s sensitive and it’s unnecessarily complicated to add photos, tags and comments.  I use Evernote for random thought notes (and grocery lists) when I’m not in a place to write out a solid idea or even bullet points for a future post.

  I like to smoke pot, it’s probably one of the most consistent things about me, but I find there is a delicate balance between just enough and too much. Just enough needs no real explanation.  It helps me find a zone and stay in it.  But too much can be terrible for me.  It does the exact opposite of enhancing creativity.  I get distracted by silly little things.  Like going to Google a word to see if I’m using it correctly and ending up on Pinterest checking out recipes for roasted veggies.  Sometimes I get too far into a zone and when I break away I feel completely drained and I’ll be useless the rest of the day.  I would like to consider it a writing tool but I write the same with or without it on average.

   My writing space currently does not offer me the space I need to write but if I’m in the right mood, any space can become my writing space. 

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