Saddened

Poetry Project #10

Depression seeps through

these wandering eyes

Oh, what should I do

with all these lies?

I sit on my bed

with a book in my lap

How I wish I were dead

as I listen to the tap

Of rain upon my window

on this cold summers night

I watch how it flows

down my window in light

I can watch each streak

as a path is made

I wish I weren’t weak

and my strength wouldn’t fade

If I could I would kill

the depression inside

Stab at my will

’cause that’s where it hides

It hurts me so bad

as I think of the ways

Please make it stop

I’m too tired to play

Tears stream down my face

I’m thinking, not thinking

I can’t make it stop

my heart feels like it’s sinking

I put my book down

and pick up my pen

I write on my leg

what I think will hap-pen

I tie the noose

my mind screams suicide

Hang me from life;

Why can’t I just die?

~October 2, 2000 (age 17)

200

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