Bibles and Bros

This is not a pro or anti religion post

A to Z April Challenge

   The in laws came by yesterday. They’re nice people but I find I have to keep my tongue between my teeth more often than I like.  Kasper is lucky I love him as much as I  do because it only took me 10 years to learn how to be conversationally respectful with his parents

   So, I’m pretending I’m an adult at 32; I’m sitting and listening with my chin in my palm and my elbow burning on the table.  It’s not the conversation that has me bothered but the dismissal of my voice when I speak.  When we meet I’m the last one they greet which is totally fine because I’m socially awkward and hate the spotlight so I actually prefer not to be the one people rush to first.  Occasionally, however, I get less than that.

   We went over for aholiday once.  We walk in, the dogs are going crazy, the kids are looking for presents/snacks, in laws are trying to hug everyone and greet and point out whatever new crap they bought in the few months since we last saw them (because they brag a lot); it’s overwhelmingly noisy.  After it calms down, I say hello to MIL who turns away from me.  I look to Kasper who returns an empty stare.  I say hello to FIL who looks directly at me then pulls out a chair and starts talking about parmesan cheese he bought from Sam’s (no lie).  So I say in a loud and clear voice:

Hello!

and after no response

No? Just me?  Well, hello, Kt, how are you; fine thanks for asking.

   And I notice Kasper listening and yet he says nothing.  Later when I confront him, he’ll claim he has no idea what I’m talking about.

   Sometimes, like yesterday, FIL will ask a question during a conversation and I’ll voice an answer.  Normally, people accept your answer or find a way to politely confirm it.  FIL is the kind of person to blow you off entirely, and openly.  “Oh, no one knows?  Let me Google it.”  Kasper never stands up for me, either; says he didn’t notice– must have left the room.

So, in a nutshell, there’s not a lot we can talk about as adults.  We are on opposite ends of the spectrum on a lot of issues.  Here’s a hint: they think Obama’s America is a journalistic masterpiece [I’m not kidding] and I think movies like Elysium are drawn out imaginings of what our future would look like if hard right policies were actually put into effect.

   One thing I do like, however wrong it may be on pretty much every level, is to hear about my bro and sis in-law’s miserable life decisions.  For the most part I feel terrible about their situation but then there’s this smaller, louder part of me that is just…download (1)

   So I wait out what I feel is an appropriate amount of time before casually asking about the Whisper Twins.  What makes this difficult, I should add, is the fact there are things I know that MIL doesn’t know I know.  But I’m so curious about this sinful gossip that I ask anyway.  I only ask about Fiona, just to initiate.  How is she doing?  How is her cancer treatment; has it finally started yet?

  Munson lost his job and “Like I told you,” we know where this is going.  Kasper and I exchange glances we know are really sighs of disappointment we don’t want her to know we’re releasing.  Fiona lost her insurance with his job so they parked their mobile trailer thing in my in laws front yard.  Oh my. I literally…liTerally, gasped. get.gif

   I instantly think of the drama this will bring! I’m wondering if I really want to let these people around my kids.  How long have they been here? Since Thursday.  Kasper clearly doesn’t know how to respond.  Munson is just as terrible a sibling as Stilla and now they’re all down here!  This is a nightmare! It makes me thankful I already went through the get-out-of-my-life drama with Stilla after she returned because the both of them at once would be emotionally scarring (haha).

The Bible

   Ah, the good book.  I have no problems with Christians…when they don’t cause any.  I really have no issues with you having your faith but please, for the love of your God, stop using your religion to back your politics while living a life of sin.

   I haven’t read the Bible.  I’ve read quotes and passages; I’ve read up after arguments  where the bible was used for or against the argument but I’ve never actually sat down and read the Bible.  However, I’m pretty sure adultery is a sin just like [allegedly] anal sex.  Now I don’t pry but…Kasper is the one who tore down the trailer The Whisper Twins left behind on my in laws property.  In the bedroom was a VCR; after demolishing the trailer, they found said VCR.  Inside the VCR was a tape.  The tape was a booty sex porn. No! Say it isn’t so! There was also a little collection of items that made Kasper gag when he tried to tell me, I think he had too much mental imagery going on.  I’m assuming they were…  Isn’t that a sin?  And this was going on while they were preaching to me about how gays were going to tear down the fabric of our country with their homosexual activities against the word of God? Isn’t sodomy still sodomy even if it’s with the opposite sex? So…technically…aren’t they a part of that shredding fabric situation?

   And now he’s cheated.  Kasper asked MIL what she thought of it while they went out (I didn’t go, I had shit to do).  Her response? A shrug and a nonchalant:

She cheated too.

  Am I the only one that thinks this makes it worse?  And why are all of them okay with it so easily? Did these two not make an eternal vow upon the book of their God to be loyal to one another and no other?  Isn’t it a sin to break that vow…repeatedly?  Am I the only one that finds this hypocrisy more than a little infuriating?  I know I’m not because I see it in Kasper’s face when he brings it up.  When he talks about Munson’s habit of cheating and weird sexual encounters (he doesn’t give much details) he gets upset about his religious beliefs and the role they play in every aspect of his life except for the one that drives his most politically driven anger.  Why try to control the privacy of others lives when you clearly need privacy of your own? And why use the bible as an excuse to judge others for acts committed within the privacy of their own home?

   I’m not looking forward to seeing them.  It will happen eventually; who knows how long they’ll be around since they’ve come full circle in their mooch cycle.  I don’t know if I’ll keep my mouth shut.  They didn’t when it came to us needing assistance after my stroke.  I strive to be anything other than that spiteful person but sometimes that bar is set too damn high for my patience and I stoop to the level of others.  I guess I’ll just hope for enough simmer time to pass before our paths cross so Kasper doesn’t throat punch Munson the second he’s close enough.

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